it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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