the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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