Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
