I want to have your abortion
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
