Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
