Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
