How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
