how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
