just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize