I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
