is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
