Ambien. No doubt about it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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