i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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