i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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