I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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