Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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