I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
