im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
