please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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