Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think people are normalizing furries
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
