i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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