That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
