I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Plan B is the new Plan A
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
