Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
