took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
sex in a hospital.. check
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
