Your face is a jimmy john
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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