Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
