ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
