Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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