I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
