so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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