Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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