3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
