Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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