i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's blow job season.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
