i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize