If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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