Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
