Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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