I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Your penis caused this!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
