I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
