He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just had sex on a roof
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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