Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
