I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
