Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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