He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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