addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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