No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
