Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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