remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
