Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
third nipple confirmed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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