shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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