Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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