Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
