Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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