READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
