He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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