two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
