He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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