so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
