Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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