Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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