Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
