just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
